Litany of the Sacred Bubblegum Card by Tim Murray

(best to be sung or vocalized in some way)

Joe plays the drums

Jim has studied in Scotland

Dave was featured on a national T.V. special last season

Wes crusades against the use of drugs

Pete is an accomplished after dinner speaker

Dave was hit by a pitch 13 times in 1964

Pat once rode broncos in rodeos

Ken has a real fireball

Jimmy has a degree in accounting

Bobby was married the day before St. Valentine's day

Jim once pitched to a baseball clown

Ted is a submarine pitcher

Jim is backup first baseman to Hank Aaron

Pat suffered a broken toe in 1969

Jim's career has had frequent interruptions due to military duty

Darold was in the Air Force

Chuck served in the Tennessee National Guard

Phil was an artilleryman in the Army

Sam's hobby is painting

Dave's hobby is playing the piano

Jim's hobby is water skiing

Dave likes to go water skiing

Jack collects baseball cards

Grant likes to work on cars

Doyle enjoys working on cars

Billy's hobby is hunting

Boog likes to go hunting

Leroy's hobby is billiards

Luke's hobby is playing pool

Jerry's hobby is flying

Bobby's hobby is dancing

Sandy enjoys playing dominoes

Dick's hobby is drag racing

Chris collects phonograph records

Merv relaxes by playing badminton

Steve's high school nickname was "Sunshine"

Dave's nickname is "Daisy"

Ray works as a movie extra in the off-season

Bob is a licensed pilot

Dal is an electrical engineer

Dick and his father operate a moving business

In the off-season Tommie is in the motel business

Casey is a willing worker

Don is continuing his education in the off-season

Last winter Clyde opened a sporting goods store

Mike is a Texas rancher in the off-season

Bud is a country-western singer

Don works for a department store in the off-season

Terry is a painter during the off-season

Sal has a radio show in the off-season

Jeff is a real estate salesman in the off-season

Woodie is a tobacco farmer

Jim operates a cattle ranch in the off-season

Mike is a tour guide in the off-season

Dick was ineligible for sports as a high school senior because he was married

And last but certainly not least in the ever expanding universal joy of rainy Sunday afternoons with ballcards scattered on yer bedroom floor…

Ken is allergic to wool uniforms


Tim Murray (born Oyster Lip Balm in March 1977) is a lifelong resident of Northwest Indiana. Spends most of his time weeding his prized turnip patch or rooting around in local flea markets. Half cafeteria Catholic and half weird unemployable uncle. He maintains an active poetry blog at myspace.com/kidmonk. Listen to him make noises to himself at myspace.com/hewrtysolodildo AND myspace.com/explodingvomit OR snail your love letters and Anthrax (the bacteria, not the band!) collections to P.O. Box 1183 Portage, IN 46368

1 comment:

J. D. said...

Tim is the inventor of nacho socks.